Google Picks PSU Track Alumni Golf Number 1! And Advice for Several Situations Besides

Not Really! Although it did come up first on the list when someone from Southwest Missouri State University googled "self-indulgent essay topics". (A dubious honor!)

Seeing as its near the end of the semester (do any of you still remember PSU hanging onto terms until the mid eighties?) and "term papers" are due, I hope this poor slob didn't use my example of why it was wrong to change the rules of baseball without telling anyone! As I stated before, the only "A" I got on a paper was one I wrote on the way home from an indoor meet at Cornell or Syracuse (I can never remember which actually!). I would advise the SWMS student to get buzzed on two Guinness Stouts and write his essay in pencil without punctuation; it worked for me! Also, I advise any of you non-golfers out there to also have a beer before the second nine holes in our tourney, it always improves your swing noticeably. And my advice to any of you now in college and looking to score a hot cheerleader.... puppies. I only discovered this well into my thirties (long after it could do me any good!). The best kind are Shih Tzus (ask Zeb) or, better yet, Pomeranians. The rich tennis set can't ignore a Pomeranian. Be sure to find them a better home when you have succeeded in your quest, (you obviously aren't mature enough to care for a puupy!) And lastly, its righty tighty, lefty loosey. (and Grand Funk Railroad is best if played at full volume.)