That's George Patton peeing in the Rhine River after his military march across France. He put it this way:
"I drove to the Rhine River and went across on the pontoon bridge. I stopped in the middle to take a p*ss and then picked up some dirt on the far side in emulation of William the Conqueror." General George S. Patton, March 1945
But did you know that George Patton was an Olympian and a fairly good cross country runner?
Not only was George S. Patton a badass general who strangled Hitler with his own belt (If I remember my history correctly and I think I do.) he was a bona fide Olympic athlete. And not just any athlete, but a pentathlete. That means he competed in five different events in one race. Take that, you pansy Triathletes. During the 1912 Olympics in Stockholm, Patton finished fifth overall in the Pentathlon. He placed 20th in shooting, 7th out of 37 in the 300 Meter freestyle swimming, 4th in fencing, 6th in the cross-country steeplechase, and 3rd in the 5 Kilometer footrace. That means that he shot some guns, jumped in the water, swam faster than a bunch of Eurotrash, got out of the water, fought a dude with a sword, jumped on a horse and did some tricks before running a 5K. He then kept running all the way to Berlin where, as I said, he strangled Hitler with his own belt. Now that’s an Olympian. And that’s why, for badassery on the field of battle and on the field of play, General George S. Patton is number one on this list.And if you are recovering from injury and want to train at a distance running altitude enclave, there are few places as fine as Kunming, China. That's where my adopted Chinese daughter is from. It's a place where the women are tall, beautiful and extremely intelligent. It's also at more than 8,000 feet altitude with a temperature that varies between 40 degrees and 80 degrees year-round. Just south of the culinary home of Kung Pao Chicken, the Yunnan Province is also quite fond of spicy delicasies.
And here's a photo of the real Adidas Spiders!
Suede goodness, in a color reminiscent of vomit! These guys molded to the shape of your foot with wear and sometimes actually fused to your foot in a parasitic fashion. Those were the days!
That thing Patton is holding looks like a ***** only smaller.
ReplyDeleteCan you imagine the War Crimes Tribunal for anyone doing that today?
ReplyDeleteDo you remember the old World War II thing "Kilroy was here" ? It looks like Schmedley was there too.
ReplyDeleteWas that a Distance Schmedley?
ReplyDeletehee hee hee I'll put a little photo on the sidebar of Kilroy. Not sure about Smedley.
ReplyDeleteThank God for Schmedley.
ReplyDeleteCan Schmedley be trusted?
ReplyDeleteActually, if memory serves correctly, Patton’s specialty in the Olympics was pistol shooting. The story goes that, back then, competitors fired all shots at the same target. After his preliminary round, he scored 4 bulls eyes (out of 5), but the 5th shot was not to be found. Although, in all probability the 5th shot went through one of the other 4, he, alas, did not progress to the medal round. I believe that the modern pentathlon was his fallback event.
ReplyDeleteOf course, that might just be modern folklore, but that’s the story.
Also, the spiders you show are not the actual spiders that lowly distance runners bought. The ones in the photos are either the sprint version or a prototype, as the distance version (the only ones I ever saw) had a ¼” EVA wedge in the heel. The nubbed sole did not wrap around, if memory serves correctly (and I’ll not be surprised if memory DOESN’T serve, believe me. Would be nice if someone would take a photo of their old pair and send it in).
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure I have my pair in the basement. I've got to go down there sometime!
ReplyDelete