What Governement Agency Will Regulate the Beer Mile?

At the recent Track Alumni Reunion Alumni "Run", I showed up early to bring the donuts and the Dunkin Donuts coffee for everyone.  I noticed in the trash can at the finish line of the track a healthy smattering of discarded, empty beer cans.  It seems Happy Valley is home to a growing cadre of participants in "The Beer Mile" phenomenon.

Back in my day, the beer mile was a loosely judged, lightly regulated Fraternity fundraiser known as the "Phi Psi 500".  It was sorta kinda of a mile, with beers thrown in at 7 or so downtown bars.  The event drew bigger and bigger crowds, and eventually became too rowdy even for State College's permissive big-wigs.  First they started substituting soda for beer (which is probably more difficult to do!), but the crowds dropped off radically and it was inevitably abandoned.  Several PSU greats were among winners, and I remember Don Ziter almost claiming victory our Senior year (5:03 or so!) , only to be disqualified for drops on his shirt!  (Any other stories would be appreciated!)

Now that we've entered an era of political corrective dissonance, people have come up with rigid rules for the running of the event.  My thoughts are this ruins what would have otherwise been a very fine past-time indeed.   Which Government Agencies will try to get their hands on the regulations?  Will the Federal EPA or the FDA seek to monopolize this?  Will the State Weights and Measures Agency try to jump in?  Will local School Boards allocate funds to policing the practice?  Where will it end?

So I tip my "PSU is 800 U" golf cap to the Roger Bannister of Beer Milers, James "The Beast" Nielson whether he followed the rules or not!  Does anyone know the Happy Valley record?