Off-Topic Rant: Ten Things I Have Learned in Ten Years at Campgrounds

1. Showers are optional. That same band-aid was here last year!
2. Showers are disgusting and give immediate fungal disorders. Anti-fungal medication is available at the Camp Store.
3. The size of one's RV has nothing to do with the size of anyone's body parts.
4. The number of tattoos per camper can be discerned with the following formula:  x = y * (pi)(weight in kg)  with y being the number of limbs intact per camper.
5. The number of natural teeth per camper utilizes the same formula above divided by 12.
6. Amount spent for one's RV should = 2*(Total Yearly Household Income) or 6*(Home value) whichever is higher.
7. Dogs should be at least 1/4 pit bull no matter what the Rules state.
8. Fireworks are not just for the Fourth of July, you silly fool.
9. Quiet Hours are from 1:00AM to 2:04AM.
10. Large campfires are required at all campsites 24/7 when the temperature exceeds 90 degrees F.
11. BONUS FACT: EBT cards are not accepted as payment regardless of how long the line is behind you.  But keep trying, nobody is as important as you.