Coach Groves Memorial Golf 2025 Tourney Results

Winning "Four"some:  Brian Laird (89), Mike Shine (75), Clark Haley (85)

Longest Drive:  Mike Shine (75)

Longest Putt:  Ryan Foster (15)

Closest to the Pin: Bob Gabel (80)

And let's thank Paul Mundy for the wonderful commemorative golf balls!

It Took Me Twelve Tries To Repeat!

Honestly, my foursome played well enough to come in 4th in our tourney of 6 foursomes.  I contributed little to the effort on a rather tough day to golf.  The foursomes picked at the Friday night reception were as evenly matched as any have ever been in our 17 year history.

But somehow, the gods shined down upon the struggling foursome of Steve Brown, Steve Brown Jr., Brian Laird and me,  making us the Champions of the 2018 Coach  Harry Groves Golf Tournament.  At (-1) for the tourney, it is one of the worst winning scores we have had.

Unfortunately, I had to leave early and didn't get to make it to the Awards Dinner and Clark Haley Comedy Show, but I will pass along the rest of the results when I can.

Steve Brown Jr., Steve Brown, Brian Laird and me.

More Atlantic Ten Goodness

The Atlantic Ten Conference was an on-again, off-again conference for Penn State Cross Country. It began as the Eastern 8 Conference in 1975 with the original members of Villanova, Duquesne, Penn State, West Virginia, George Washington, Massachusetts, Pittsburgh, and Rutgers. Cross Country started in 1978 and Penn State did not participate in some of those years (1979-1981).  But we dominated the conference whenever we were part of it. (1978, 1982-1990)

Championships:

• 1978        28 points.
• 1982        30 points.
• 1986        27 points.
• 1987        21 points.
• 1988        25 points.
• 1989        19 points.
• 1990        19 points.

Individual Champions:

• 1982     Jeff Adkins
• 1986     Eric Carter*
• 1987     Eric Carter
• 1988     Brian Laird
• 1989     Jeff Novak/Doug Walter

• 1990     Mark Wimmer  

* Number 3 on the list of Top 20 Conference Performances, 23:51 at Van Cortlandt Park.

This Still Isn't The Way To Determine The Rest Of PSU's Best Cross Country Runners Of All-Time

Here's the rest of the list of "The Top PSU Cross Country Runners of All-Time".  Remember, the criteria were set in the last post, which showed the top 11 of All-Time.

12.  Gerald Norman - 6th in 1960 for 15 points.
13.  Richard Englebrink - 7th in 1959 for 14 points.
14.  Howard Deardorff - 8th in 1960 for 13 points.
15.  Robert Snyder - 9th in 1978 for 12 points.
16.  Robert Freebairn - 11th in 1950 for 10 points.
17.  Brian Laird - 13th in 1988 for 8 points.
18.  Fred Kerr -  13th in 1957 for 8 points.
19.  Lamont Smith - 13th in 1953 for 8 points.
20.  Donald Ashenfelter - 13th in 1949 for 8 points.
21.  McClain Smith - 13th in 1942 for 8 points.
22.  Larry Mangan - 14th in 1980 for 7 points.
23.  Donald Freebairn - 14th in 1949 for 7 points.
24.  George Malley - 17th in 1975, 20th in 1976 for 5 points.
25.  Jack Saint Clair - 16th in 1950 for 5 points.
26.  Albert Porto - 16th in 1949 for 5 points.
27.  Herman Goffberg - 16th in 1941 for 5 points.
28.  Raymond Smith - 17th in 1967 for 4 points.
29.  Herman Weber - 17th in 1960 for 4 points.
30.  Donald Woodrow - 17th in 1956 for 4 points.
31.  William Gordon - 17th in 1950 for 4 points.
32.  Fred Lennox - 17th in 1947 for 4 points.
33.  Steve Brown - 20th in 1989 for 1 point.
34.  Doug Moorhead - 20th in 1954 for 1 point.

Director of Youth Development Artie Gilkes and Herm Goffberg.

   

Herm Goffberg.

Robert Snyder.

Ryan Foster, Larry Mangan, Al Porto, and Steve Balkey.

Brian Laird, 2nd from right.

The Winners of the 2012 (11th Annual) Coach Harry Groves Golf Tournament

The winning foursome of Brian Laird, Drew Hardyk, Steve Brown and Bill Malchano blistered the Elks Club Course for a fine 5-Under Par, especially considering the fast putting conditions.  This is Bill's first engraving on the Coach Harry Groves Cup.  As one of the original 2002 golfers, he has waited too long!  Drew Hardyk got his name on the Cup for the second time, thus enshrining himself in the Hall of Honor I created some time ago and have yet to fully figure out.  Brian Laird, has graced The Cup numerous times and is already a Hall member.  Steve Brown must have figured a way to channel all of the energy of this eclectic group into a force for good, so hats off to him!

PSU is 800 U: PSU Women Reign Again!

Fawn Dorr anchored the 4 X 400 M Relay to a 3rd place finish at the Big Ten Championships on Sunday, one position ahead of Michigan to gain one point in the final standings. As they were less than a point behind Michigan for the lead before the last event, that gave them the victory by less than one point. Congrats on a team victory girls, (am I allowed to call them that?).

Ryan Foster again triumphed in the competitive 800 M, with Owen Dawson and Lionel Williams placing 3rd and 4th. That makes PSU, 800 U for sure! The Men (or boys to keep it consistent!) finished in 5th place.

Addendum: Brian Laird has finally succumbed and will increase our proper golf attire ratio substantially. Chris Snyder also signed up bringing our total number of Yanomamo to 8! The Fierce People are not known for golf, however. Read the earlier post on the Yanomamo Here.

Any Group That Would Have Me as a Member....

It is unanimous! PSU Track Alumni Golf may be the most popular group in the world. Voters chose us as THE group to belong to over several worthy competitors. Historically, we beat out the father of our nation, George Washington and his fellow Masons. We also beat out the notorious Hellfire Club of Great Britain, despite their advantages of decadence and debauchery unrivaled in our times. Even Madonna and Dennis Rodman have nothing on those guys.

In the cartoon world we easily outdistanced Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble's Water Buffalo Lodge. In TV, Ed Norton and Ralph Cramden's Raccoon Lodge could not compete. Join us now, and be part of our incredibly popular menagerie.

Some of these clubs do have the advantage of great hats and outfits. Brian Laird has been selected as our point man on coming up with suitable attire for such an important group. Stay tuned for information on what kind of pants to wear next year. (See photo of 2008 winners for proper pants selection.) AND don't forget proper golfing hats!

Hockey is back!

To keep our minds off the financial crisis, and as a public service, I wish to point out that the NHL season has officially begun. Brian Laird, Steve Balkey and I are thrilled. I'm not sure about the rest of you. But it does keep your mind off your plummeting 401k (now a 101k!). And it beats watching McCain failing to keep far enough right, much like Jeff Sanden's golf game*



*arbitrary political comments not endorsed by group officers. Criticism of golf games is entirely consistent with officer's wishes.

Addendum: A pleasant "hello" from current Asst. Coach John Gondak came today. I wished him well in the upcoming conclusion to the XC season.

Red Wings Win the Other Cup

The Detoit Red Wings won their 4th Stanley Cup in 11 years last night. Three sport star, Steve Balkey (thats track, hockey and golf for most of us idiots) and Brian Laird are known to be saddened by the Penguins loss. But remember, each of you has your name on the Real Cup more than once! "Special" K has not sipped champagne from the Holy Grail of PSU Alumni Golfers yet, and will have to return next year for another chance. Sort of like Ray Bourque a few years ago, or Dallas Drake last night. Good luck hombre, it ain't easy.

End of Universe Narrowly Avoided:

Top physicists argue that the universe was spared yesterday, as the foursome including Coach Harry Groves fell one stroke short of winning his own memorial tournament. If his own name appears on The Cup, they propose, the precise balance of the dark matter comprising
99% of the universe would become unstable. Black holes in the center of the galaxy would then accelerate beyond the speed of light, and all matter would soon become obsolete.

Stephen Hawking was quoted as saying "bweep, dingle, mwoop, borgle, dom", as his voice synthesizer is on the fritz. It is believed to mean he was quite relieved after learning the score.

Overall first place went to the foursome of Clark Haley, Brian Laird/Bill Whittaker, Steve Balkey and Mike McCahill. (Brian Laird had to leave early either to make the Stanley Cup Finals or to meet "clients" at Cafe 210. Inquiries are being made.) A Tournament and Course record of 6-under par place them at the top of this pathetic bunch.

Only one stroke back. the foursome of Paul Mundy, Nick "Special" K, David Baskwill and Coach Groves pushed the leaders in unexpected ways. Coach provided amoral support in the form of four-letter tirades and an uncanny grasp of the rules of golf. An eagle on the par 5 fifth hole was aided by the original Queensbury Rules which state that "Stupid bird-houses on poles are not really barriers to four men with clubs."

Weekend Coordinator Harry Smith's foursome also broke par, despite the fact that Gary Black needed a bag of painkillers just to get to the first tee. He promises next year to bring his bionic, surgically recreated body back for a shot at the title. Post-tournament banquet hosts Steve and Beth Shisler rounded out the game foursome. Stormstown residents are now banding together in order to pass a new noise ordinance to combat the regrettable rowdiness we provided. The recycling center nearby, however, was pleased with the sudden influx of bottles and cans.

Award winners included:

Longest Drive: Beth Shisler (prid'ner near 305 yards) ; prizes included a hybrid club and a Toyota Camry SE

Closest to the pin: Clark Haley (13 feet 10 inches); prizes included a distance-finder and a BMW convertible

Longest Trip: Gary Black (309 miles), Charlottesville, VA; a golf umbrella

Longest Putt: Mike McCahill, 10 feet 10 1/2 inches; a set of iron covers and a Steelers edition pick-up truck

Ghostman Award (Longest time before participating in the event): Coach Groves; a golf hat

Shot-of-the-day: Steve Shisler; a ball retriever, for hitting the parking lot on Hole 9

Rob Whiteside "Brotherhood Award": Coach Groves; a golf book

Numbnutt Award #1: Brian Laird, for leaving early; Spongebob Squarepants golf balls

Numbnutt Award #2: Paul Mundy, for invoking Queensbury Rules; a golf hat

Thanks also to the Honorary Course Marshall for the event Greg Fredericks who allowed the use of rules originally meant for boxing, and his tireless efforts to make putting on Hole 16 memorable. Coach Whittaker is commended for mopping up for Brian Laird on Holes 7-18. We hope to see more Honorary Captains at the next year's event.

Harry Smith performed flawlessly in his first year as Coordinator, providing us with the first smile on Clark Haley's face in 7 years. Clark will continue to enjoy his retirement in the Garden State.

Anything I forgot?