Coach Arrives!

Coach Groves arrived at the Hampton Inn to thunderous applause at 7:00 PM. The pizza and snacks did not survive the onslaught of voracious ex-athletes and degenerates present. Beer is flowing like wine. Everyone is asking why Bill Malchano isn't here? Drop us a line, big guy.

Birdies in Forecast!

The weather forecast is in for Friday and Saturday. Possible showers late Friday night will provide excellent birdie possibilities on Saturday. (Provided that the "A" golfers game is up to snuff.) Can the Tournament Record be in jeopardy?

A 30% chance of thundershowers on Saturday will be no problem. I have a 1-iron in my bag and even The Big Guy can't hit a 1-iron.

Rumors of another new car for Closest-to-the-Pin cannot be verified, but Harry Smith has been seen at the Driving Range practicing to replace his car from the 2004 Tournament. London bookmaker's odds are again in favor of Beth Shisler for the Longest Drive. Gary Black has dug out Billy Berue in his quest for the Longest Putt. (Billy, Billy, Billy...) No one has a prayer in the Straightest Drive contest.

One Week Away:

The 7th Annual Harry Groves Memorial Golf Tournament and Reunion is only one week away. Festivities will begin at 7:30 PM in the meeting room at the Hampton Inn next to the Main Lobby on Friday night. Golf is some time on Saturday, but who really cares when!

Coach is expected to participate, so bring along a thick skin to handle the abuse. Pizza, snacks, soda, water and adult beverages will be available as we all fondly remember the wonderful times of yesteryear when we could still see and reach our toes. Many volumes of embarrassing photos will be available for your perusal. Everyone attending will have the advantage of belittling those that didn't.

Coach Lambastes Both Young and Old!

It is rumored that Coach has called all graduates before 1980 and

after 1990 pansies for not golfing in his tournament. Independent confirmation of these statements could not be obtained, but chances are good they are accurate representations of something he might say.

On the bright side, The Van appears to be in good shape, although not environmentally friendly.

Clark Haley's Club Selection Guide:

2 Weeks Left!

Some people just don't belong, but you don't have to be one of them. There is still time to enter the world of Best-Ball Alumni fun. It is rumored that this year mulligans will be available for a small donation. Imagine that, you'll possibly be able to hit an extra bad shot!

Thanks for voting in the first poll. Gary plans to use his extra year of eligibility trying to break 7:00 in the mile. Sam Borchers better watch out.

The second poll is up and running. Which is the most appalling excuse given for not coming. (The names of the guilty are mercifully excluded.)

Don't forget, comments are welcome to any post. Feel free to give me feedback or grief. Any suggestions will be mulled over before being laughed off. (Just kidding.)

Addendum: Only one day left to bid on joining Clark and Coach in the Foursome of Your Dreams. You'll be able to tell your grandchildren about the day The Elks kicked us off their course! Imagine the tire tracks across the greens from The Van. Bring your cameras everyone, the News Networks pay handsomely for big stories like this.

Update: Bidding is now closed on Coach's foursome. Apparently you can bid on being in the foursome behind Coach (Oops, I didn't see you there behind that hill!) But remember, last year's "best" shot actually went backward.

Grandma says, "Sign up for the tourney sonny, you only get so many chances to be with old friends."

(She adds, "Don't drink any of that evil rum.")

Listen to your grandma boys, foursomes are filling up fast. There's very little time left to bid on Coach's foursome. Rekindle the times of yore while destroying acres of lush greenery and being verbally abused for it!

Update: Coach will not be using a golf cart for his foursome, but will be driving The Van.

Website slices into the blogosphere!

An unbelievable influx of traffic has bombarded the myriad of servers supporting the site. Tens of hits have driven the bandwidth to the breaking point. The poll has proven a popular addition to the site, and future polls will continue the trend. We'll live-blog the event for those unable to attend, and a subsequent slide show will be added.

But where do I send the money??

Send responses for the outing or bids for the ultimate foursome to Clark Haley at: clarkehaley@yahoo.com. Harry Smith's mailing address is 7793 Hudson Park Drive, Hudson OH 44236, and his email is harry.smith@nationalcity.com.

2008 Coach Harry Groves Memorial Golf Tournament

Time is running short for this year's tournament. Get the word out to anyone who comes to mind. Remember, golfing ability is not high on the list of requirements. Even my name is on the Stanley Cup, er, the Memorial Trophy. Last year a sprinter from Zimbabwe participated without ever holding a golf club before. (Munya Maraire) He was the recipient of two glorious prizes: furthest traveled and worst shot. Costs are up this year, so $150 dollars is required for the greens fees, cart, lunch, beverages on the course and post tourney awards ceremony. Anyone wishing to join Clark and Coach's foursome can still bid until 5/18/08. Nothing like paying extra for more abuse! The Elks Club is again privileged to host our appearance. http://www.golflink.com/Golf-Courses/course.asp?course=948345

The Hampton Inn has a special rate for us ($89 at last check). http://hamptoninn1.hilton.com/en_US/hp/index.do Just use the special code PST when booking a room at 814-231-1590. The Friday night get-together starts at 7:30PM at the meeting room next to the main lobby. Pizza, beer, soda, water and various snacks are available for the low, low price of $10, even for recent graduates without jobs.

Kudos go to Clark Haley, who always puts in the work to keep this tradition going. And don't forget Harry Smith, who was volunteered this year to assume the duties.