Great Performance #9: Hanging with "The Beast"

Another boring day at work, another stupendous PSU Track Alumni Golf Great Performance.

In a first, this one involves good golf. (And a sprinter!) When Paul Mundy brought "The Beast" out of his bag on the par 5 5th at the Elks Club in 2008, no one could have foreseen the results, nor the controversy it brought. No one could have anticipated the antipathy from Clark Haley's foursome, nor the Congressional Inquiry that later resulted. No one could comprehend Coach's use of The Queensbury Rules to settle the dispute. The "Bird House Hole" never saw three more beautiful shots than Paul bestowed in Happy Valley that day. The first-shot was the disputed one. Technically, it was supposed to stay to the left of the bird house at all times. Whether it did or didn't, it ended to the left of the house, and narrowly avoided the rough and the lake. Coach insists the Queensbury Rules trump any stupid local golf course rules, and the shot stood. A beautiful second shot by Paul (the finest of the day) nestled just 3 or 4 inches from the pin for an easy tap-in for eagle. This was only the second eagle in our 7 years. (Who holed out the fairway shot in 2006?) Update: via Clark, it was Rick Kanuck or a blind squirrel!

The Congressional Inquiry was later discontinued, when Congress realized there was no tax-payer's money up for grabs.* Who knows what mayhem will ensue at this year's tourney? Will Barney Frank attend? Will a boxing match break out on the links?

*Political opinions are not endorsed by blog officers.

Preparations Continue:

Preparations are well advanced for the 2009 Harry Groves Memorial Golf Tournament. (Remember, it is not about the golf!) Special room rates are in place for our official Hotel, The Hampton Inn. You can book your room right from our site and save $45/night! You still have time to reserve your spot in the tourney at 20% off last year's price. Hurry before 12/31/08, that's when the rates go up. Remember, the Hampton Inn is where the Friday get-together is, as well as the pre-golf lunch. The Shisler's Shindig (Post-tournament awards ceremony) is included with the entry and should be an especially great time this year. Maps will be available to guide all through the Arctic tundra and past all the polar bears, caribou and oil pipelines. Tours of the All-Sports Museum and The Berkey Creamery are on the agenda for those not golfing. Goodie bags for all golfers and special prizes for all children are on tap for this year's crowd. For those returning golfers from previous years, keep in mind the raffle of gas cards for those enticing new golfers (victims?) to our fold. Also, don't forget, the half price special for the first sign-ups from the 50's, 60's, 90's, and 00's is still available. We are also 1/3 of the way toward offering a $10,000 prize for a hole-in-one.

"The Beast" feasts on Elk:

Paul Mundy's new club, "The Beast" was unveiled at the Elks Club Course on May 31. At first look, the club appeared to be a frying pan, but further inspection revealed the graphite shaft jutting out from one corner. It could actually be heard chuckling to itself when compared to lesser normal clubs. When placed back in the bag, it must be covered or it will start to feed on wedges and putters. Par 5's actually make it giggle with anticipation. If not used on long holes, it will bite Paul when he pulls out other clubs.

Using "The Beast", Paul reached the green on two par 4's. Internal hydraulics, intricate circuitry or voodoo needles allow an 80% fairway percentage despite the extra distance. Cost of the new club was not discussed, but Paul has made up most of his outlay by selling viewings of it for $1.00 a pop.

Fixed: Nick K's 2008 Tourney Photos have been added. The problems with the web site's slide show viewer are over! He has also supplied the missing photo for the winning four(five)some so he has been awarded the large cash jackpot. Note the donate button in the upper right.