Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner

 

Alums are winning things all over the world!  Here's three recent first placers...

• Tyler McCandless won the Colfax Marathon in a new course record. He finished the race at elevation in Colorado in 2:21:07.
  
  
  
  
• Ron Moore won the Three Sisters Ultra in Tennessee, despite not knowing the runner he blew by at the finish was on the same lap as he was!  11 5K laps in 6:03:09.
• Joe Kovacs rebounded from a second place finish in Eugene to win the prestigious shot put title in the Czech Republic after a 36 hour travel nightmare.  He threw 72' 11"
  
  
  
  

Ron Moore's 2021 Barkley Marathons Report

 Ron Moore
My Barkley 2021 Race Report

Prologue

I first applied for the 2016 Barkley after a top-10 finish at the 2015 Barkley Fall Classic - a 50K race in
Frozen Head State Park that I consider the fetal, not baby, version of the big Barkley. I was fortunate enough to get on the wait list on that first application. I faithfully applied each year as I bubbled up higher on the weight list. Finally, I got drawn into the main field for the 2020 race that was, of course, eventually cancelled due to COVID. (The state park system revoked all permits for planned group events, and the Barkley was a casualty.)
 

At last, I was able to toe the line at the 2021 Barkley - albeit it was different than previous years due to travel restrictions that kept many international entrants at home, as well as some COVID protocols that precluded some fun things like the pot-luck grazing the night before the race and the hanging of the license plates from allthe previous virgins.

The lead-up

 
My training over the winter did not go as intended. I had some nagging injuries off and on, as well as a
strained calf/achilles that kept me from running for a 3 week period in late January-mid February. I could still power hike hills and mountains, and I would work out on machines twice a day in the garage and at the Y, but my overall fitness was down without being able to do quick road runs. So be it.
 

As the race COVID protocols developed, it was deemed that all crew would need to have been already
vaccinated or had COVID and demonstrate antibody presence. That eliminated my wife Patty from being my crew. Other runners also needed eligible crew. I thought of a fellow Penn State track & XC alum who is a podiatrist and a big fan of the Barkley. Well, he and his podiatrist & Penn State alum wife both thought it was agreat idea...Laz also thought having a COVID protocol czar in camp was a good idea. So, Dave and Barb joined the fray to take temperatures and address other medical issues (like broken bones)!
 

As a bonus, one week before the race, my eyeglasses broke. Since I am, uh, a mature fellow, I need to
wear progessive lenses to fulfill my distance and reading vision needs. It turned out my older spare glasses weren’t good enough any longer for me to read a map or compass very well. Fortunately, I was able to get a quick turnaround on new glasses - I picked them up on my way to Frozen Head for the race. (Whew.)

The race

 
It had been obvious for days that the weather was going to be an issue for the race. Forecasts suggested
up to 2 inches of rain starting before midnight of race day through the early morning with > 30 mph winds above 3000 feet elevation. The course was going to be awfully slippery and the creeks would be running fast during the race. Since I live only an hour from the park, I drove up the day before to set up my tent while it was still dry, and then slept at home before returning the next day. As folks were arriving at the park the day before the race, it was already raining off and on. After unloading most of my gear into the tent, I checked in with Laz and Sandra (the race director and his wife) at the usual campsite 12 to pick up my race packet. I wore a special shirt that my daughter Elizabeth made for me after I learned I had made it into the 2020 race; the shirt had been sitting in my closet unworn for over a year.

(Photos by Dave Baskwill and Hiram Rogers)
 

The next task was to mark up my park map from the master map showing the checkpoint book locations and the prescribed route for a loop. Nothing terribly surprising there since I have seen race maps for a few years while I was crewing for my friend Hiram. I then drove to Wartburg to pick up a Subway sandwich for dinner and a couple other items at Darnell’s Market. After eating the sandwich and socializing a bit, it started to rain - not too hard, but enough to chase people inside - especially the runners who needed to rest.

The big question, as usual, was when would Laz blow the conch that signified one hour until the race
start? Would we be running in the worst of the storm? The race can begin between midnight and noon on race day, and we would find out only when we heard the conch. (Just a small mind game to add to the physical challenge.) Before I turned out my light at 9 pm, I reviewed the race map and directions, and wrote some notes in a small waterproof notebook. The rain and wind grew in intensity as I tried to fall asleep.

 I woke immediately when the sound of the conch resonated through the campground at 2:04 AM...
OK, not bad - I did get some sleep. Lights turn on inside tents around the campground. I hear Dave and
Barb stirring in the tent beside mine. Water is still hitting the tent, but apparently it’s mostly just dripping off the trees - the rain was rather light. I learned that the hour before the race begins goes by quickly. After lubricating that which I must (shout out to Greg Feild for those who know him and his quote from his first marathon) and then putting on my running attire, I walked up to site 12 to gather my official race timepiece - no other watch may be used (a rule in place for just a couple years). No smart watch, no GPS, no altimeter, nothing electronic can be carried by a runner - the only navigational items allowed are your map and a compass.

The previous race watches were cheap, Timex knock-offs that at least had a stopwatch and an alarm (to wake you up if you needed a nap somewhere on course). This edition of the Barkley watch was especially low tech:

Well, at least this pocket watch had a battery - no winding necessary. Folks chuckled about whether the
younger participants could even read an analog watch face. I found it to be particularly useless, but I stuffed it into my jacket pocket anyway in case I really needed to know the time - not the time of day though. Laz sets the race watches in advance to read midnight when the race begins, so that you can know the time since the start - important if you’ll be close to the cutoff for a loop.

As I continued to prepare back at my campsite, Hiram came up to me to say that Dave fell in the culvert
by the bath house, and he likely broke his right wrist. What the hell? Now, while I’m trying to get ready for the start? Anyway, Barb was with him, so I pressed on with preparation. Backpack - check. 3 liters of grape Gu Roctane in the bladder - check. Map - check. Compass & spare compass - check. Headlamps and extra batteries - check. Candy, sourdough pretzel nuggets, Chik-Fil-A sandwiches - check, check, check. Baggie for the book pages - check. Notes - check. A quick potty stop - check.
It was 53 degF and still raining lightly, so I was wearing a GoreTex jacket over a short sleeve Smartwool shirt. On the bottom, I was wearing my usual compression shorts and running shorts over top, plus compression calf sleeves, Smartwool socks, and my favorite trail shoes - Hoka One One Speedgoat 4. You know what, I will go back to grab the GoreTex pants just in case the weather turns bad again at elevation. (I stuffed them in the backpack, but I never needed them.) I went up to the famed yellow gate as Laz was reading the names of Barkers who had passed away. Soon afterward, he lit a cigarette - the signal that the race was on… 

As usual, the race begins with an easy 2 mile climb up a candy-ass trail (what Laz calls the public park
trails). Everyone’s shoes got wet early thanks to all the run-off from the rain. I took off my jacket just a few switchbacks up and tied it around my waist. Near the top of the climb, there was someone coming back down the trail. WTF? Apparently this person forgot their race bib, and he couldn’t remember his number! (You need to know your number so you can rip out that page from the books at the checkpoints.) Oof.

The fog was a problem, too, up high. Just like driving on a foggy night with your headlights on, there
was a lot of backscatter of the headlamp light from the fog. Having moisture on your glasses doesn’t help either, so that slowed me down somewhat on the way to the first book. There was a bigger group than I expected at Book 1 - at least a dozen people - I probably waited 1 ½ minutes to rip out my page and start a rather slippery, muddy descent. I lost track of how many times I went down on my butt. I hurt my left shoulder a bit on one of the falls. At a narrow slot we would pass through, there were a couple of people waiting as I  approached. I slipped and fell then butt-slid toward the notch, and knocked one of them over. (I don’t know
who you were, but I apologize. Gravity and a lack of friction are a bitch combination.)

After a knee-deep creek crossing, the next climb commenced. About halfway up, I came across a wild
boar piglet scurrying alone among the rocks. Such a cute little thing - white with brown markings.
Immediately, I wondered if the momma hog was nearby. The wee one wasn’t crying, and I didn’t hear any grunting from a sow, but I sped up a little anyway to put some distance between myself and the piglet.

At some point while running on another candy-ass trail alone in the fog with the wind howling through
the trees, I heard an odd sound just behind me. Did I just drop something? Sure enough, I turned around and saw my compass lying on the trail. It had just slipped off the lanyard - the design could be better since it has happened before under less important circumstances. (Remember that I carried a spare compass just in case…)

I nailed the first half of the next descent, so I was feeling pretty good about navigating alone so far.
However, that feeling didn’t last long. I have no idea what happened as that descent continued. I did
deliberately move a little left to avoid some large rocks, and I thought I got myself back on track afterward. At least I was going the direction I wanted, and I was seeing things I should be seeing - or so I thought in that foggy night. I kept descending, but then I started thinking I had gone too far - where is that next landmark? I looked at my compass and saw I was going due west. Huh? Did I really go so far that I started following the XXX? Can’t be. Shit. Time to reset, so I decided to climb back up to a candy-ass trail that I knew. I think I
burned close to an hour. (Maybe I should have looked at that infernal pocket watch.) Fortunately, I saw a group of headlamps coming toward me, so I waited. Well, well - it was my training partner Hiram and several others! I’m saved! I joined the group to descend the intended way, and then I left them to start the next climb quickly to try and make up the lost time. (Even a few days later, I cannot figure out what the hell I did on that fouled up descent.)

It was encouraging when I could switch off the headlamp as night turned into day early on the next
climb. For a while, it was (relatively) easy going, passing through areas of the park I know well. After pausing at a cairn to pay my respects to the fallen Barkers, I made a quick and rather muddy stop at the first water drop where I caught up with a runner from a group of 3 who had been together just a little earlier. We stuck together as we navigated through unfamiliar territory, but we were successful at locating the next book without any issues. In fact, we caught up with the other two runners from the previous group of 3 who could not find that book - we called out to them when we saw them struggling to lend them a hand. I took off again to climb, climb, climb. (I will say that I found the famed Leonard’s Butt Slide more difficult to climb rather than descend. How do folks do that 5 times?) I crossed paths with the group led by Hiram near the top of the Butt Slide.
 

The climb kept going up to just below a peak, but I ended up going to the top without seeing what I
expected to see. I was a little confused by the written directions describing the area as compared to what I saw.I backtracked and found that original group of 3 runners together, and this time they pointed me in the right direction. Thanks, I appreciated it!

What goes up must come down. I was alone again as I began a descent on a narrow ridge. Shortly, I
approached a rock wall that came to a point. I saw a notch in the wall that could be used to shimmy down to the next level; indeed, there were footprints showing that other runners had used that notch. I thought to myself “Be careful, it looks like there’s some mud at the edge…” - and suddenly I slid off the wall and was falling through the air. Immediately I was scared because I knew it was not going to be a soft landing. I saw the rock that was becoming my ultimate destination, but I wasn’t sure which part of my body was going to make contact first. Thankfully, it wasn’t my head. The sharp pain on my left side was the first clue, the increased pain when breathing was the other - I was certain I had broken a rib or two. Ouch. After collecting my wits and 4 determining there didn’t seem to be any more serious damage, I realized how fortunate I was on that landing. (Ididn’t see the gash on my left knee until later. A nice bruise developed on my left hip, too.)

So, now what? I was nearly as far away from camp as one can be on the course. There was no shortcut,
and I could still walk. Therefore, keep moving forward. I finished the descent, and navigated to the next book.The next climb was a good test - nice and steep. Yeah, the rib hurt, but it was tolerable. Easy navigation - right to the book. I tried running down the next descent, but that was a no-go. Each jarring step caused searing pain in the rib. So, I walked most of that easy descent. Damn. The next major climb was a little ratty, if you know what I mean. The first 25% or so was rather steep and slippery. That was very difficult for me being able to use only one arm to hold on to a hiking pole, cable, or shrub to help pull myself up. Whatever thoughts I had about finishing the first loop evaporated there. There was no way I wanted to descend that section and risk another (likely) fall. So, I finished the rest of that climb strong to reach the water stop at the fire tower. It was great to see some friends up there. (Thanks!) Surprisingly to me, I had finished all of the electrolyte in my 3 L backpack bladder, so I filled up with water. I only needed it for the 3.5 mile hike back to camp, because I
decided to drop out at the fire tower. 

Again - damn. It was an honor to have Dave the Bugler play Taps for me
when I arrived back to the yellow gate.

(Me about to crest Rat Jaw. Photo by a photographer named Kajsa whom I did not meet, but I wish I did. The photo was forwarded to me by a friend)

It was fantastic to finally toe the line at the Barkley. I had been waiting a while to get off the wait list
and make it into the field. The weather was crappy, but that’s always the wild card. My legs were feeling just fine, so I’m disappointed about the broken rib (yes, confirmed later by x-ray). My first Barkley was not a real test of my physical and mental endurance. I estimate I (only) went over 18 miles with 11,000 feet of elevation gain (7.5 miles after the rib-breaking fall) including the extra from my navigation mistake early on and the hike back to camp. Hopefully, with a persuasive application essay, Laz will let me back in the race sooner rather than later.

 Epilogue

 
Four days later, I was able to pull a shirt over my head, and put on socks and shoes without assistance.
The rib bothers me a fair amount, and I can feel it every step I walk. (No running for 5 more weeks.) It lookslike I may have a bitchin’ scar on my knee...the gash was a little wider than I thought.

Acknowledgments

 
First and foremost - thank you to my wife Patty for putting up with this stupid stuff I like to do. When
Barkley training season rolls around, I disappear for long training runs more than usual. Love you!
Thanks to my training partner Hiram and his wife Jean. If I’m out running hill and mountain repeats,
it’s usually with Hiram. I also appreciate Hiram trying to pass along his wisdom about the Barkley Marathons.

We also have good discussions about geology and physics while we’re out in the wild.

Thanks to Dave and Barb for joining the Barkley family in an unexpected way this year. It was fun
having you visit, and I know you had a good time in camp. (At least when you weren’t breaking bones of your own, Dave.)

You Can't Have Trail Runs Without Protected Trails

 One of the reasons that the Barkley Marathons has endured despite only 15 people ever finishing in its 38 year history, is because its adherents view the Park it is held in as sacred land. The originators of the event know practically every square inch of the Frozen Head State Park. And I mean to the extent that they can argue minute details ad nauseum. Things you and I would never even care to notice.

Even Ron Moore, just a young 7-year Barkley acolyte, knows the park better than you know your own neighborhood. His Barkley friends spend a lot of time in the park, always adhering to the rules of the Tennessee Park system and Lazarus Lake's rules concerning the Barkley.

It is never a sure thing that the park will continue.  For years it has been desired by many people longing for the coal underneath. The Barkley Marathons have attracted much interest in the park.  In turn, more and more people have become active in trying to preserve not just Frozen Head, but all open park land.

The Barkley Family, to a man (counting all genders in the original sense!) are strict environmentalists. No one can enjoy their chosen hobby (or job in the case of some) without the beautiful acres they need to continue it.

Spouse The Better also came along to see wildflowers.  My mishap and Ron's too-early exit from the race, means she didn't see as many as she wanted to.

Ron Moore's Start And Finish Of The 2021 Barkley Marathons

 No one is allowed to view the runners during the race, except at the Tower at the top of the climb known as Rat Jaw.  Rat Jaw is a utility wire cut that takes electricity up over the mountain, and one of the worst climbs of the event.  Mercifully this year, the cut was freshly mowed, and thus the briars were better than most years.

Getting to the Tower would entail a two hour hike with 2,000 feet of climb for any of us mere mortals, and I was at a hospital when I would have had to been climbing.

Thus, I only have video of the start of the event and a photo of Ron hiking in after 12 hours in the woods.  I also have Ron being tapped out.

The 3:04 AM Start:

 Barkley Start

Ron Hiking Back into camp:

Taps is played for every runner not finishing the race:

 Taps

Please remember, Ron's left 8th rib is broken at the finish. Then relax and realize that he is an animal and the rest of us are just mortal.

Some 2021 Barkley Marathons Facts

1.  This year's entry fee (in addition to the $1.60 application fee) was a 12-pack of Moxie soda for the veterans of the race.  I share Lazarus Lake's love of Moxie, which I woukld describe as a mixture of root beer, cough syrup and motor oil.  For virgins, like Ron Moore, the entry fee was a license plate from where you were born.
   
   
   
2. The race started at 3:04 AM after the conch was blown at 2:04 AM.  I waited until about 2:15 or so to fall into the culvert and break my left 8th rib and my right wrist.  I did get to see Ron just before the start and he looked ready for it.
   
   
   
3. Only 4 chicken quarters were cooked by Laz himself and I think he was the only one to eat some.  The usual pot-luck dinner was canceled because of Covid.  The big cans of Bush's beans were on the fire for 2 days but only David Hughes (PSU 68) ate any that I saw.
4. It rained nearly 2 inches the day before the start, but stopped right at the time of the start. I slept well from 8:30PM until the sound at the conch at 2:04AM. The sound of pouring rain on a somewhat rain-proof tent is quite memorable.
5. Ron Moore had 3 liters of electrolyte solution in his backpack and consumed all of it by the time he returned to camp.  He ate 1 1/2 Chick-Fil-A sandwiches and various candies bringing his total calorie intake to near 2,000 during Loop 1.
6. I texted Ron's wife Patty Moore after my accident AT 4:00AM!  Sorry Patty, I was not of sound mind.
7. We got word of Ron's accident from someone on top of the climb known as Rat Jaw where a tower stands and there is the only water drop.  It is the only place where anyone can observe runners on the course, but are not allowed to help in any way.
8. Lazarus Lake practiced blowing his conch many times on Wednesday and had much difficulty with it.  The conch predates his creation of the Barkley and was purchased in Fort Myers.
   
   
9. Number of camp meals we cooked = 0  (Hardees, Taco Bell and Panera from outside the park)
10. The longest time anyone perused the official map of the course and marked their own was by Courtney Dauwalter, past winner of the Western States 100.  Quickest was just a few minutes by several veterans.  Ron Moore didn't take long either, as he knows the whole park quite well.
11. You are way more likely to encounter a wild boar than you are a bear in the Frozen Head State Park. People have started calling them cats leading to an internet meme, which is already triggering people.
    
    
    
    
12. The Campground in the park is very nice.
13. This year's event was held 2 weeks earlier than usual and started on Thursday instead of Saturday.  This was on purpose to keep the crowds from coming and off-setting the Covid Protocols that were put into place. But no one will ever know what comes next...
14. The only watches allowed on the course by runners is supplied by Laz following the blowing of the conch. No GPS, no altimeters.  This year's version was an analog watch in a pocket-watch style.  I wonder if any of the young runners did not know how to read a clock with a face?
    
    
    
15. The watches were set for last year's start, which never happened.  Laz needed to check each of them and reset those that were "off".  Only a few were off by more than a few seconds and the most was 25 seconds.  We had a long conversation about the Longitude Prize, the quest to provide accurate longitude navigation for ships in the 1600s and 1700s.  The prize was eventually won by a clock maker who made a watch accurate to within 6 seconds a month while onboard a ship.  All of Laz's watches would have won the Prize at a cost of $8 apiece.
16. More than half of the runners failed to complete 1 of the 5 loops required for finishing. Only 2 runners completed the second loop in time to start the third loop.
17. 3-time Finisher Jared Campbell and Luke Nelson each finished the third loop in time to qualify for a "Fun Run" but too late to go onto Loop 4.  No finishers this year.
    
    
    
18. The only thing anyone at the main tent for the pain of my broken rib and wrist was Tennessee moonshine, which I declined. And no one dared to touch Laz's Moxie.
19. Although Ron wore a ETSU ball cap for the run, he did wear his PSU Track Alum "Harry's Boys" wristband.
    

The Barkley Wasn't Kind To Penn State

I am back home, just about at the same time 3-time Barkley finisher Jared Campbell is struggling to finish a Fun Run at the 2021 Barkley Marathons.

Our Official Physicist Ron Moore had taps played for him more than 12 hours after the 3:04am start. He had navigated the beginning of the race well and had gathered the first nine books. He was descending one of the mountains and went to take the "safe" route between rock pillars, when catastrophe struck. He slipped on the muddy rocks, and fell directly on one of them.

Remember, there is no help coming on the course. There are no aid stations, meat wagons, or medical help of any kind. Just hours of navigation through dense woods, often dense fog (and don't forget the feral hogs) until you can get help.

Ron knew immediately, he had broken a rib. Still, he moved forward along the course that is completely unmarked using a compass and a topographical map of the course you need to make yourself.

He needed to climb two mountain peaks and the descent between them to reach the Tower. This is the only place people are allowed to see the racers, although they cannot help in any way.

That's how Spouse the Better, I and Ron's wife Patty found out about his dilemma. I was already back at the park from the hospital when we found out.

Even as Ron was returning to the yellow gate starting/finishing line via the tower road, it was still several hours until we would see him.

He came in, looking really fine and more oblivious to his rib fracture than I was to the pain of my wrist fracture sustained 1/2 hour prior to the start!

Race Director Lazarus Lake greeted him at the gate to record his "quitting" of the race, not even taking the nine book pages Ron had collected before the calamity.

Taps was played, as it is for every non-finisher of the race. Eventually, all 37 starters would be tapped out this year. No finishers this year.

Penn State Alumni associated with this year's race:

• David Hughes - 1968 Engineering alum was a starter for the 18th time. He was the Sweeper of the course and gathered one book, helped one runner who was hopelessly lost, and was tapped out second overall after 10 hours. 
• Patty Moore - was recruited to help crew for husband Ron after loop one. A duty that  never came. And this was after I had texted her about my wrist fracture at 4:00am! (Sorry, I am pleading insanity because of the pain from my ribs and wrist) 
• Spouse the Better - co-Covid Czar of the 2021 Barkley Marathons. Came to the event only because of the ineptitude of her husband, and to see wildflowers. Still enjoyed the whole debacle. 
• Skwilli - Head Covid Czar of the 2021 Barkley Marathons. Became the first victim of the event when he stumbled into the culvert next to the bathroom at 2:30am. Result was a non-displaced radial fracture of my right wrist and a bruise of my left ribs, (now ruled an 8th rib fracture). Could have been much worse. Still had the time of my life and talked to Laz for hours and hours on just about everything. Still need 3 weeks off work... 
• Ron Moore - The third known PSU affiliated starter, and the first PSU Track Alumni Golfer. Ron broke a rib and collected nine of the thirteen book pages. He made it back to the gate on his own two feet without any help. He was interviewed by HBO for an upcoming documentary. 
  
  
  
  
  

The First Casualty Of The Barkley

The conch blew at 2:04 am. The all-powerful Laz  practiced all day yesterday, but his first attempts were weak. After two or three repeats, it finally reverberated nicely throughout the campground.

The camp came to life quickly, with the actual runners speaking very minimally. Time to prepare is minimal.

Barb and I donned our rain outfits (at least 1 inch of rain so far, maybe 2). We headed to the bathroom and headed back to see Ron and do anything he needed.

AND WHAM, I WAS DOWN. The flashlight beam showed the road, but missed the ditch!

I fell with a thud on my left side and right hand into the deep gully filled with all the runoff from the upper camp. Nothing hurt at first, but it sure did after a minute. My first statement was "I think I broke a rib." Ron's running partner and campsite mate came by and he and Barb grabbed a hand each to get me up out of the water. That's when I realized I had broken my wrist...

I managed to get upright and Barb managed to splint my wrist and at least cover my numerous cuts and scrapes on my hand.

I went to tell Laz about my predicament, and he chuckled exactly as I suspected he would (which is the proper response anyway).

The hour flew by and the runners gathered at the yellow gate just a few minutes before the 3:04am start of the "100" mile event.

I saw Ron with just 30 seconds to go and sincerely wished him well.

Laz lit his unfiltered Camel several seconds late, time they will never get back. Laz told me it was the runners' fault.

37 runners swarmed off into the rainy darkness, but just like that, the rain stopped. Maybe not in the rest of the park. Two runners were no-shows. One was an armed service member who was denied permission because of Covid, despite being fully vaccinated. The other was a last second- replacement whose son's team made it to a state final. Laz said both decisions were good ones. Saying yes was good, because she might have never made it in without the Covid circumstances. The second because her son will never be in a state final again. 

And still, one final runner didn't wake up in time and was taking their time. Laz was exasperated with that. 

I decided to wait until first light to seek xrays. We will make it back for Ron's first interloopal period. 

More to come, internet pending... 

A Triumph Against All Odds

Lego Ron Moore has done what very few people have.  He has finished a Fun Run at the Barkley Marathons as a Virgin.  That means in his first year as an entrant he managed 3 complete laps in under 40 hours.  See the Wiki for all the rules.

Ron actually completed the 3 laps in 36 hours and 29 minutes.  He had a hard time on Loop 3, with some rain and darkness causing a navigation error and a backtrack adding nearly 2 hours to his time.  When he returned to camp he had donned his Alumni Singlet as well as his "Harry's Boys" wristband and PSU Track cap!

After downing another heaping helping of my specially prepared Dinty Moore Stew and the peanut butter concoction I had to hide from the dogs, I caught him falling asleep.  With his triumph of a Fun Run under his belt, Ron reluctantly decided to call it a race and let the real Ron Moore have a shot at the Full Monty next year.

After taps was played by Laz himself, Ron was presented with an enormous trophy (there are no trophies or medals.) to celebrate his achievement.  Laz's dog Big and Ron's Dog Barkley were gleeful audience members.  Both dogs are rescues from within the Frozen Head State Park itself.

A fitting way to end our tale on a high note.

Thank you to Ron for playing along with this whole thing.  Hope to be with you next year when you make it all come true.  Ron adds, "A Fun Run is still a DNF!"

Call Him Ishmael

As Ron Moore continues his quest to finish the Barkley Marathons, he must not only navigate the course but tear pages out of a book to prove his navigation.  The pages required are always the bib number he is wearing, which is a new one each loop.

The books are hidden in a clever way and clues are given to help the runners find them.  Some of these are clever and some maybe not.  Ron has been given the job of placing books 1 book in the past. My bet is that his clues were clever! Lazarus writes all of the clues.

Here Ron looks for page #51 from a copy of Moby Brick, the worst novel ever written in the Lego world.  By the end of it, you don't care if he finds the damn big white brick or not.

Ron Moore Is On Loop 2!

It was a very nice day in Frozen Head State Park yesterday.  At least us sedentary types. Ron Moore got an early start on the first of hopefully 5 loops of the Barkley Marathons.  He seemed very confident at the start which was an hour before first light.  That would give him sunlight for the first circumnavigation, a luxury I assume.

With an average time of 11 or 12 hours expected for each loop, that gave me a great opportunity to finally formally meet Race Director Lazarus Lake and ask him questions that the other "journalists" never do.  It was a lively give and take, which I will detail at a later time.

Laz being interviewed by me with his dog, Big.

I also had time to follow the marked trail to catch a glimpse of Ron as he topped the Rat Jaw Climb to the Fire Tower and the only aid on the entire course.  One self-service water stop.  And that means none if the weather is below freezing!

Add caption

He finished the first loop in 11 hours and 39 minutes.  He had all of his pages from the 11 books along the way and was cleared to begin the second loop.  He stopped briefly and changed his wet shoes and had a meal of Dinty Moore Stew and a peanut butter concoction dreamed up by me and also relished by all the dogs. 

Ron took a total of just 20 minutes "in camp", made sure he had extra batteries for his headlamp, filled his hydration backpack,  and got his second bib number from Laz at the yellow gate.  And he was gone again!

The Lego Barkley Is Underway!

The start of the Barkley Marathons is an elaborate affair.  Once all the registrants have paid their dues and checked in, they then settle down in their tents awaiting the start of the race.  No one but Lazarus Lake knows the time of the start.  It can occur from any time from Midnight to Noon the next day.

Everyone pretends to take a nap and relax, but apparently, no one is really able to do that.  With the strain of what is ahead of them, the runners are excused if they can't quite relax. Even the invited Press are on edge.  Ron Moore and I talk about the similarities and differences in our time at PSU, and he pretends to dose a little

An hour before the start, Lazarus puts out the siren by blowing on a conch shell.  Then all heck breaks out.  All the runners must carefully adorn themselves with everything they need for the ordeal, keeping in mind that all 4 seasons may greet them in each 12 hour period.  The weather tonight was rather warm and a high of 75 degrees may scorch the runners tomorrow. No rain is expected until possibly tomorrow, but each peak and valley of the Frozen Head State Park can have their own weather pattern.

The conch blew at 5:00AM today.  All the runners gather at The Yellow Gate for the start.  This occurs when Laz lights up a cigarette.  And The Game is Afoot!

Ron Moore poses for me at The Yellow Gate start/finish line.

Lazarus Lake signals the start by lighting a cigarette.

We Made It To Frozen Head State Park And I'm Hungry For Chicken

After picking up Ron Moore at his Eastern Tennessee home, we both headed to the Frozen Head State Park in Podd 2.0, my "rolling home on wheels".  All the amenities of home, but all coming from the Dollar Store (no kidding).  Barkley, Ron's dog joins us with Odie and Spott.  They seem to be getting along just fine.  They hope to meet Big, Lazarus Lake's famous dog.

First up today was the elaborate check-in and registration.  Each Barkley Virgin, like Ron, owe Laz a license plate from their homeland.  He displays each one every year as a fine backdrop for the Press, like me.  Ron's plate reads Pennsylvania plate  PSU TandF!  That will make a great display for future Nittany Lions who make the magic 40.

Each year, runners who make another Barkley field must bring an item of Laz's choosing.  He usually sees what he needs and asks for that.  Socks, t-shirts, dress shirts have made the list recently.  This year he chose a case of Moxie Soda, which I happen to love.  The soda from Maine is famous and quite the medicinal concoction made for an event like this.

All the runners have a chance to peruse the official map of the course for this year.  Every year, the course changes somewhat.  The runners do not receive a copy, but may make one on their own from glancing at the official one belonging to Laz.  There are numerous "stops" along the way where each runner must tear a page out of the book hidden with clever clues matching their bib number.  Be careful if you get bib #1, as Laz considers this person a sacrifice, unlikely to ever finish even one of the 5 loops.

As everyone has checked in, frivolity visits the bedraggled camp, as the Annual Chicken Dinner is served.  The namesake of the race has donated all the frozen chicken to Laz for this feast over the years. He passed away recently which prompts a moment of silence in the camp.  It has been said that in years past Laz wasn't the very best of chefs, with some of the chicken being severely over or under-done!  Someone new has been designated as chef lately, but Ron usually stays clear of the chicken, especially this year as he has to hopefully run more than a hundred miles soon.

Carbo Loading Is An Essential Element In The Barkley

For the last number of years Ron Moore has been at the site of the Barkley Marathons as either a Crew for one of the runners or on the Weight List helping out.  He has even made the climbs to place some of the books at various places on the course according to Lazarus Lake's instructions.

This year, as an invited runner, his normal pre-race routine has become a vital part of the recipe for success.  Before Ultras, Ron usually heads to Jet's Pizza for a 8-Corner Super Special.  This year he has to settle for delivery from Dominos, but at least he has a nice bottle of wine and some hot sauce to go with it.

And I am on the road, I-81 to be exact, winging my way toward Eastern Tennessee in my Podd 2.0.  Gas prices are well below $2.00/gallon now, so I am saving money with every mile.  See you soon, Ron.

Jet's 8-Corner Super Special

Just In The Nick Of Time

Lego Ron Moore has received his Foot Care Kit For Lunatics (registered trademark of Apple Hill Podiatry Associates PC) in the mail today.  Which is good because tomorrow he must make his way to the Frozen Head State Park for check-in and registration for the Barkley Marathons.

Once he sees the benefits of the products inside, he will be a sponsored spokesman for the product's unveiling at next year's Real Marathons.  I hope to sell 39 of them next year so as to recoup lost revenue from this year's canceling of the event.  There is even a roll of toilet paper in every kit!

Ron Moore's Lego Minifigure Is A Metaphor For All Of Us

Why would a grown man play with Lego?  Why would he represent real people in miniature toy fashion?  Why would he forsake the real world for a world of plastic (soon to be plant-derived plastic!)?  Take a look around.  We all have real problems and dilemmas on a daily basis.  This is just a way to bring a little mirth to the situation.

But by doing so, I hope to highlight an Alum and his extraordinary accomplishments, as an athlete, a scholar and as a man.  Ron Moore is a thankful fan of what Coach Groves gave to him, just as I am.  Many of us were given such a gift, even those who were not directly coached by him.  All of us are better off because of the Program legacy Coach Groves helped create.  He helped all of us to climb mountains we never thought we could scale.

Here's Ron Moore in training for the Barkley Marathons, to be held in Lego fashion only this weekend.  He is at the top of Rat Jaw, one of the more famous climbs in the Frozen Head State Park.  This is a powerline-cut over the top of a mountain.  Notice that it is cleared.  But what you don't notice is that the first plant life to return once a forest is cut is the briars and thorns.  Now imagine running up this on a night without a full moon.  Or worse yet, running down this at night with only a flashlight or headlamp!  Don't forget those extra batteries too...

Now For The Hard Part

Well, Ron Moore is in the Barkley Marathons this year.  Not the real one (at least until next year!), but the Virtual Lego one we have created in order for everyone to get the feel for the hardest race in the world.

He negotiated the nebulous entry format and received his acceptance in the form of a condolence letter several months ago.

But all along, he had an inkling he would make the grade this year, as he was the last person left off the line last year and has spent the last 3 years on the Weight List, as it is called by the initiated.

That means he had to train all year for the chance to perform well on the mountains of rural East Tennessee.  And so he has.  This training has not just been general aerobic running, but long treks in the woods and up and down mountains.  I suppose he even had to do some of this in the dark, as 40% to 60% of the race would be in the dark, depending on when Laz decides to start it.  Luckily for Ron, he has been able to do some of this training on the actual climbs in the Frozen Head State Park.

Ron is in good shape, and so is his Lego character.  Which is a good thing, because he has to get there for this Friday, ready to go!  My Lego character will also be there as invited Press to bring excitement to our vast swarms of readers.

Ron in training with his hydration backpack.

Even The Application Process For The Barkley Marathons Is Difficult

In order to be included in the "lucky" 40 people chosen for the most difficult race in the world, a labyrinth of procedures must be done on a time schedule that is unknown.  That's right, in order to get into the race, you must apply on a certain day, at a certain time which is unknown.  I have been hooked on the event for several years and I only have an inkling when that is.  In order to know, I conjecture you must immerse yourself in the culture until someone lets slip when that is.  And that is a best-guess estimate.  Much like predicting the bottom on the Stock Market, good luck!  My guess on when to apply to be among the Press allowed in Frozen Head State Park during the race was wildly off.

The application itself is an essay on why you deserve to be included in the ranks of the runners in the nearly impossible race.  I have never come across any of the essays, as secrecy is better among this gang than that seen with other secretive groups like the Masons or maybe even the Illuminati!  What Lazarus Lake does with these essays is also a secret.  There are occasionally other requirements which can change willy-nilly and are not standard.

The entry must be mailed in with the $1.60 entry fee, which is non-refundable.  As far as I know, the entry fee has remained steady since the start of the event in 1986.

Also included in the registration is a written examination of 5-6 esoteric questions ranging across the spectrum of human knowledge,  math, Physics, chemistry, history among them.  Grades for the exams are never given or results divulged except when a perfect score is achieved.  This has only happened once in the past 5 years. One question has been repeated each of at least the last 5 years.  Apparently, it has never been answered "correctly."

With the track record of accuracy on this blog, I am hoping that Ron Moore will correct any errors, which will be transparently amended. 

Here, Ron Moore fills out his written examination for inclusion in the Barkley Marathons.  This happened sometime in late 2019.  Ron must not have received a perfect score, but there was a Physics question he aced!

My Barkley Marathons Will Be Held As Scheduled

Now that there is virtually nothing in the track and field world to even write about besides cancelations and the repercussions, I have decided to go on as planned with my very own Barkley Marathons as scheduled.

Previously, I had applied to the event's Inventor and Race Director, Lazarus Lake, to be included in the Press contingent for the event.  Not knowing the inscrutable ways of applying for this, I was invariably late to the line.  I did get a nice response from Laz, which seemed to indicate he liked my idea of reportage for the event.  That was somewhat encouraging for the prospect of being there next year to bring my 100s of readers the in-depth, offbeat reportage they have come to expect from the "blog with it all."

Concurrently, our very own Ron Moore, our group's  Esteemed Endowed Erwin Schrodinger Chair for Advanced Physics, obtained the coveted "condolence letter" this year that meant he was included among the 40 lucky starters for "the race that eats its young."  We have been conversing about his preparation and fitness for several weeks, looking forward to a Fun Run completion or even greater accolades!

I had even been preparing to cover the race from Blog Central since I wasn't going to be allowed anywhere near Frozen Head State Park in rural Tennessee.  I figured I would combine the blog with my favorite hobby right now, which is creating Lego versions of my real world.  Having given up on News, Politics, and Sports for nearly 6 months now, I needed something more than the blog to keep my mind occupied.

So I have rather detailed sets for all the aspects of the race created in miniature form, I was going to use this to bring the real news of the event gleaned via the internet to my readers in a whimsical format.  With the event being canceled, I can't let my versions of Laz and Ron be relegated to the Lego storage tubs, so I will keep them out and continue bringing the hows and whys of the peculiar race as if it was really proceeding "normally."  I am depending on Ron to help me with the scenario!  Damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead!

First up will be the application process, which is ephemeral at best...   Coming Soon. 

A Physics Post: Either Way, Schrodinger's Cat Is Plotting To Kill You

It's what cats do between sleeping 20 hours a day.

As to whether the cat is alive or dead in the box, some real brainiacs now have figured a way to tell without opening the box!

 I'm hoping our Endowed Erwin Schrodinger Chair for Advanced Physics, Ron Moore, will chime in about this one, but he may not.  He has been hanging out with his Wolverine Friends.

Also, the smartest person at my recent Podiatric Seminar was the Physicist who presented a lecture on radiation safety.  And he had rave reviews for what other Physicists are doing with Proton Therapies (targeted radiation treatment for cancers), such as our beloved Chair Holder.

A Thirty-One Mile Traipse Through The Woods

This weekend's track exploits were boring, so we had to travel to the most desolate western section of Virginia for a post.  It also happens to be the highest elevations of the state.

Our Erwin Shroedinger Endowed Chair for Advanced Physics (simultaneously our Official Physicist and NOT our Official Physicist) Ron Moore ran in the Grayson Highlands 50K.  He placed third overall and the second Male.  4:59:54 at 5,429 feet of elevation!  (That's 9:39/mile on mountainous trails at altitude!)

He continues to spread the word of his sponsor, Apple Hill Podiatry, to the animals on the trails of the eastern USA.

Daughter the Younger

 And a shout out to Coach Fritz Spence on teaching Daughter the Younger how to hurdle at a Day Camp from PSU coaches back in the Alford-Sullivan era.  Her technique is awesome.