The Rules of PSU Track Alumni Golf!

Some skeptical alumni teammates have expressed an ignorance of what we are trying to do with our hopefully soon-to-be larger group. These otherwise stellar college graduates wonder what golf has to do with anything else in their lives. Why golf? Why in May 2009?

The truth is, golf has very little to do with this whole thing. We are trying to reconnect with fellow teammates and meet new friends who share a strong bond with PSU Track and especially with Coach Harry Groves. As I've said before, he is the only thing we all have in common. We should celebrate that at least once yearly, especially when he participates with us. He has expressed his pleasure with the event and even chipped and putted superbly this past year. We want him to continue this, year after year. Clark Haley should be commended for his founding efforts, although he should be shunned for his bad breath and overall sloppy appearance.

Even if you have never golfed before, hate golf, or are afraid of golf, I guarantee you will have a wonderful time at the event. We are keeping costs down, and hotel rooms are even at a great rate because we come back year after year and The Hampton Inn loves our group. A special emphasis is being made this year to promote bringing families with you, as this will eliminate one more obstacle to enlarging the group.

So to alleviate the fears of golf on some who have not come to the event, let me go over the rules of our little golf outing, The Harry Groves Memorial Golf Tournament:

1. Four-Man Best Ball Format- that means everybody hits one and the group always picks the best of the four shots. You are never put under any pressure. You can only happily surprise the good golfers when you hit a lucky one, and you will. It's always winter in State College, so fluff that lie as much as you want!

2. All groups are assigned one of the better golfers in the group, and there are many good golfers among us. (Ha, Ha) No one is hung out to dry. Family members are welcomed also (Doug Scharsu has his name on The Cup). Wives are encouraged to golf also (Beth Shisler is odds-on favorite to win The Longest Drive every year). My 36 Handicap sometimes places me in the "C" golfers slot!

3. If you don't want to hit long shots or can't, the other three guys will rotate an extra shot every stroke throughout the round. (IN DISPUTE! by Clark and Leggett) (The good golfers actually love you for this!) If you only want to putt, that's OK too (IN DISPUTE! by Clark and Leggett)(and everyone can putt, just watch my excellent videos!). If you only want to ride around in a golf cart, that's OK too. Greg Fredericks was our Course Marshall last year and I'll bet he will chip and putt next year, after seeing all of us in action. Munya Maraire golfed in 2007 without ever having held a club before. He actually contributed to my foursome and several of his putts were counted.

4. Disputes are handled by Coach Groves citing The Queensbury Rules, the original rules for boxing in England. This led to only the third eagle of the Tourney last year, but that's another story. Needless to say, nothing is taken too seriously (IN DISPUTE! by Clark and Leggett) and we have had a tremendous time 7 year's straight. (NO DISPUTE! from anyone)

5. Prizes are given out for many things, and almost everybody wins something. The Shisler's have generously hosted a Cook-Out every year at their home in Stormstown, somewhere north of Julian Pike, near the Arctic Circle. It's a blessing that The Bypass now is complete to help us get there. Global warming has decreased the snow cover in the area and Polar Bear attacks are now very rare.

6. Breakfast, lunch and dinner on Tournament Day and dinner on the Friday night prior to the Tourney are already covered. If you stay at The Hampton Inn, breakfast is covered on Sunday too. This last year I noticed later that I hadn't spent any cash while I was in State College for 2 1/2 days! Beer, soda and water of numerous varieties is available all weekend. Clark owns 34 separate coolers and his trunk is loaded at all times, as is he. Due to our advancing age, the original Pub Crawl is now only lightly attended, but nothing's stopping any of you from rekindling the flame.

Come next year, and bring a friend.