Director of Fun Teddy Quinn Mulls Changes in Plan

The 2011 reintroduction of the Downtown Tour for the physically hardy (or the metally deranged!) on Friday night of the Alumni Reunion weekend, chaperoned by Director of Fun, Teddy Quinn has been jeopardized by recent action of PLCB authorities.*

Citing many instances of misconduct and general mayhem, 6 bars in the downtown area have had objections made to the renewal of their liquor licenses by the Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board.  Former tour stops like The Shandygaff, The Lions Den, The Gingerbread Man and The Phyrst have upcoming hearings concerning the matter.  New entities like the 797 Sports Bar and The Mezzanine have the most serious allegations against them.  In keeping with the family friendly theme of our reunion, alternatives are being formulated to potential closures of the old stand-bys.

First up is the new Chuck E. Cheese in downtown State College, long a favorite of students everywhere.  Pizza will be available for those  interested. Tokens not included.  Next up is the Church Social at the Methodist Church on College Avenue.  Fruit Punch and finger foods are readily available there. Don't spill any on the carpet. Also, continuing the religious portion of the tour will be a Mennonite Service on Atherton Street.  Remember to be totally silent during this portion of the tour!  Next will be a vegetable juice selection at that little place on College Avenue. And in order to spice things up after that, we contemplate a tour of the Nuclear Reactor on campus.  Watch closely as Homer Simpson naps.  Don't let him press the wrong button!  Tired participants can then crawl home to the Hampton Inn where Keeper of the Beer, Clark Haley will curse at you as he hands out cans of beverages from the tub in his room.  Don't wake his neighbors!

* While the objections to the renewal of licenses is real, the rest of this post is totally made up.  Teddy Quinn is hard at work formulating a fun evening for all!  Appropriate t-shirts are being dreamed up already.