Scary Runs Seem to be Multiplying

I regaled all of you with my Bear Story years ago, but now two other PSU Track Alumni (Golfers) have one-upped me for sure.  Check out Paul Souza's latest "fast" run:

OK, so I get up Tuesday morning and go for a run. I run under the arch and down to the river and I turn right and head on up the river for a couple miles. Suddenly I notice that I am all alone and the buildings are looking more and more burned out and decrepit. I see a bridge up ahead and I decide to run to the bridge and turn around. Suddenly I notice a black car with blacked out windows turning off the street and traveling down a gravel path toward the riiver. I realize they have no business driving down here, except to come after me. Which they did. I ran the fastest half mile of my life, jumped over some bushes and booked it up a small gravel hill to the train tracks and ran on the tracks back to the arch which was a block from my hotel. The car followed me until it couldn't go any further. At one point as I was running away it crossed my mind that I was going to get shot in the back and die there along the river and no one would find me for days. On a posiitve note, it was my fastest run of the year!

Be sure to contact Paul Souza and let him know there is no excuse for not golfing with us this year!  Maybe he'll even sing for us!

Then there's Ryan Foster's attempted long run, which got a little abbreviated with an excuse better than my running into a bear!

I am sitting on the couch still in my running gear, still panting, after one of the scariest, most horrifying moments of my life…
On my long run today, about 35 minutes in, I was running through a secluded wooded area just outside campus when I came upon a bright blue Suzuki. I was immediately curious as to what a small 4-door sedan was doing down this off-the-beaten-path trail. As I got closer, my stomach began to tie up and I felt every sense in my body heighten. Fear gripped me as I noticed the back-drivers-side door open, as well as the trunk, and on the ground next to the car, a shovel. Knowing something wasn’t right, my flight response kicked in and I began sprinting. As I passed by the car, my gaze was drawn to the back seat. There, seated upright, was the shape of a human torso wrapped in garbage bags, and next to it in the middle seat, a human arm.
I ran.
For the next 5 minutes I pounded towards the nearest building, a conference hotel on the outskirts of campus. Terrified, I kept expecting to hear a car engine behind me as I ran for safety.
As I pulled in to the parking lot I managed to borrow a phone from a man and call 911. They told me to wait in the hotel lobby. Minutes seemed like hours, and after waiting an eternity, I convinced myself that I must have been mistaken. Somebody would have come by now if it was important. So I decided to run home. The only way back went right by where I had seen the car. In the dark I could still see the outline, and off in the woods, faint torchlight. Panic renewed, I bolted for home.
When I walked through the door I quickly checked my phone and found a voice mail from the local police department asking me to call them as they can’t locate the car. Still fearing the worst, I call back…
The sergeant on the other end calms me down from my panic and tells me that they’ve located the car, and then proceeds to shock me even more when he starts to laugh.
“Ryan, this is actually a pretty funny one. It turns out that what you saw was exactly what you thought. There were body parts in that car. The Penn State Forensic Science Department was out there burying fake body parts for a class tomorrow.”
For the sake of the ten years off my life, they better learn something tomorrow.

Be careful out there...