All You Need to Know About Bailouts!

The guvment, (who negotiated everything about the bailout of AIG and owns just short of 80% of it), will now require that it pay back the $165, 000,000 in bonuses it has already paid employees who were necessary to clean up the mess, (and also caused it!). The guvment is then paying us taxpayers back by taking less of our money to replace the money we gave them that they already handed out in bonuses? Isn't this the kind of accounting that created problems in the first place?

People should already be in jail for this, but we need the Congressmen and Senators too much now to actually get rid of them!***

***Views expressed, although accurate, do not necessarily reflect the views of blog officers. And don't get me started on The War on Man-Caused Disasters, formerly known as terrorism.

Erin Go Bragh

Happy St. Patrick's (NOT State Patrick's) Day.

Hole-in-one Madness!

Yeah, its possible. This lady proved it recently in a big way. In the very first shot of her life, she hit a hole-in-one! Give it a go, even if you haven't golfed much, or ever. Only the 2nd hole at the Elks Club doesn't have a hole-in-one prize and we'll probably make it the "Closest to the Pin" hole anyway because of that.

With the statistical wizardry of our blog laureate, and the largest survey of hole-in-one odds, the current probability of somebody in our motley group scoring an ace is (40*4)/12,500 or 1 in 78! The least they would win is a new set of clubs, and $10,000 would just about make up for your loss in your 401k (for those of you in your early 30's, anyway!)

Hat tip to Wizbang!

Championship Week

A second and two-third place finishes topped the indoor season for PSU at the NCAA Meet. The Women placed 7th overall, first among the Big Ten.
Gayle Hunter set a school record in the Pentathlon with 4342 points. Ryan Fritz placed third in the high jump to lead the Men.

Others garnering All-American Honors included Bridgit Franek in the 5000 M, and the Women's 4 X 400 M Relay squad with Fawn Dorr, Aleesha Barber, Shavon Greaves and Gayle Hunter. The Men's Distance Medley quartet just missed 8th place by less than 2/10ths of a second.

In the USATF 15 K Championships, James Carney placed 10th in 44:13 and honorary PSU Track Alum Golfer Rebecca Donaghue placed 8th in 51:05.

Addendum: Odds for a hole-in-one at our tourney have been figured at (40 X 4/12,750) or 1 in 78. Good luck, and you can't win if you don't play!

The "Younger" Crowd Trickles In and "Horace" is Coming After All

We are starting to get inquiries and actual sign-ups from the "younger" crowd, which should help the scores this year. Ben Karcz, PSU 500 and 600 meter record holder, will tee them up with the likes of the rest of us. We also have three women team members so far signed up for the reunion and three wives golfing with us. Welcome one and all!

And "Horace" will be coming after all. The same wonderful folks who have set up our hole-in-one prizes have set us up with a golden putter engraved with "PSU Track Alumni". This will be a rotating prize for the longest putt on the 18th green. Horrible golfers like me will always putt first, so one of us could snag the golden putter 's use for a whole year! The winner will be required to bring it back for the next year's event and supply us with periodic photos from its travels to golf courses and mini golf courses around the globe. (Or ship it back to me for more than it would cost to come!) The 18th green will also be the sight of the grand prize $10,000 for a hole-in-one. That means you can't win both! What a shame. The best part is that none of us paid for it. I used a debit card I obtained for filling out a drug company's questionnaire about a new medical device.

Mr. Horace Ashenfelter III has been invited but I have not heard back yet. Anyone seeing this that could contact him, please pass the word on. He would be an honored guest for sure.

My Brain Hurts, Coverage at 11PM

Its getting ridiculously close to Spring now. It was actually 66 degrees in State College last week, a temperature usually only reached the weekend after July 4. ( Winter rules are in effect in State College all but that weekend according to Coach Groves' adaptation of the Queensbury Rules.) Greg Fredericks actually ran in shorts and a t-shirt, but not an official "Penn State Track Alumni Golf" or "PSU is 800 U" t-shirt you can obtain by coming to our Reunion and/or Golf Outing.

Our little outing has reached the big-time for sure. The AP in New York will send a representative to cover our event! Former PSU Trackster and Collegian Editor Paula Froke will travel to State College for the reunion and hopefully obtain more Coach Groves quotes to keep our little blog fresh.

And my brain hurts, so I've added a Suggestion Box to give me ideas or allow disgruntled readers a chance to vent.

A Truly "Amazing Race" and a Personal Diversion

Penn State set a school record in the Distance Medley Relay over the weekend at the Notre Dame Last Chance Weekend Meet. This was a rather crazy race, as PSU placed 14th in the race despite 4 great relay splits! Fifteen teams made the Automatic NCAA Qualifier! The splits:

1. Sam Borchers 2:54 - 1200 M
2. Mike Cadau 46.7 - 400 M
3. Ryan "The Tasmanian Devil" Foster 1:49.0 800 M
4. Tim Johnson 4:02 1600 M ( 4 or 5 ran sub-4 miles)

And in her first foray into the competitive world, after just a few group lessons, my daughter Anne entered the Keystone Games Figure Skating Championships. I'm doomed! Between Obama and Ice Skating Lessons, I'll have $0.33 cents a week to eat.

A Stimulus Package That Will Work!!

After consultation with the brain trust of PSU Track Alumni Golf, (as it is), and after deliberation and thoughtful contemplation, a Hole-in-one Prize Package has been arranged for the 8th Annual Coach Harry Groves Golf Tournament and Reunion. This package was purchased with the benevolence and contributions of several anonymous fellow alums. We can all thank them, OR join them, later.

This will not affect the $701 so far donated to our cause and will not affect the fees for this year's or future year's events. We hope it will attract even more golfers this year, and again in future years, especially if one of us duffers actually lucks into a windfall.

The 6th hole will feature a new set of golf clubs for the first (yeah, the second one won't count!) hole-in-one. The 9th hole will have a prize of a three-day cruise for 2. The 10th hole will net the lucky golfer a $2000 golf vacation for 2. And the ultimate prize will be on the 18th hole. The lucky hacker putting the ball in the hole from the tee will earn $10,000. The 18th will also be the hole hosting "The Horace" golden Putter for the longest putt. (Gary Black's "Billy Berue" will be substituting for the golden putter this year due to the manufacturer going out of business.) I will make sure there is some gold on Billy, however. Not sure exactly what yet.

Pass the word on, we would love having someone win. Professionals not allowed.

More Physics Phun: Stay Safe Ron Moore!

A bullet to the head will most of the time cause instant death. But what about a beam from a particle accelerator traveling at slightly below the speed of light? This poor guy found out the hard way when he stuck his head into a malfunctioning particle accelerator in the former Soviet Union. When Soviet things malfunction, they do it in style! Think of what lawyers would have done with this in the States. If it happened today, the lawsuit would have to be for quadrillions of dollars, since the government has jumped the shark on trillions by now!

INCREDIBLE UPDATE: We are at 30 golfers, with 20 more on the hook (and you know who you are!). Don't let this opportunity slip by without joining us.

Great Performances: A Gutsy Half-Mile

The highlight of the Mens Big Ten Championships for the third-place Nittany Lions was the stellar performances in the 800 meters. (Someone stated PSU is 800 U!)

Ryan Foster took the lead early and held on for the victory in impressive fashion. Owen Dawson provided even more excitement by charging from 5th to second in the final 100 meters. (Upon watching a replay, I notice he was never that far back. Sorry for the error.) It was the most exciting race I've seen in a long time. The resultant 18 points vaulted PSU into third place, where they would remain for their best Big Ten finish to date. With the current youth and talent on the team, and the increasing backing of washed-up alums like me (washed-up may only apply to me!), PSU has a bright Track future. Congrats to Ryan, Owen and the entire team on a fine performance.

And.... Let's not forget to include important news of the day! The secret of belly button lint has been solved by scientists! Maybe not by physicists, but by their low class cousins, chemists.

Physics Promises Us a Time Machine

But then again, they said we would all have flying cars and ray guns by now! Here's a pic of PSU Track Alumni Golfers Brian Boyer and Steve Balkey at the Reunion One Mile Run and 4 X 440 yd. Relay on Saturday. Brian chugged a 6:30 mile in the cold and gamely ran a leg in the relay to thunderous applause. Well, I clapped anyway. Steve ran a 6:00 mile AND had just come from a hockey game where he "dropped the gloves" again. Hockey and Running are the 2 greatest sports!

Brian is in for the Golf Tourney! He will arrange a lecture that week and layover for the Tourney. His lecture on IAEA Inspections Thursday went well except for the snickers when he referred to the phrase "materials unaccounted for" by its acronym MUF. (Hehehe, Beavis, he said Muff.) There's no accounting for undergrads, even physics ones. Brian unveiled his Richard Feynman T-shirt for me. I'll have to visit him in Los Alamos to get one of those!

Steve had his wife and son at the meet on Sunday, as he gave out the awards to the Milers. He had to keep the 2nd an 3rd place finishers separated or they would have come to blows. It was good to hear his son tell me that he is running AND playing hockey, just like his dad! I'm not sure Mom was as thrilled. That's Steve's 12 year-old son Seth giving a thumbs up with The Lion, along with Gary Black and Larry Mangan's son Anthony at the meet on Sunday.

Seeing everyone there was as close to a time machine as we are likely to get. The Golf Outing will be even better, as the numbers continue to climb. Don't miss out on a chance to reminisce with old friends, renew old rivalries and possibly get arrested downtown if you dare to venture out with the "Young Crowd".

Meshing of the Old and the New!

Unfortunately, I'm the Old, not the New. My attempt at a comeback in the mile ended after 880 yards when I realized I would soon be lapped! Ken Cooper's band of Merry Men ran a mile and a 4 X 440 yd relay, as they do several times a year. This time, it was at the Outdoor Track due to Big Ten rules prohibiting any of us from stepping on the Indoor one. It was the first time I ever remember the wind hitting us down the home stretch, although others felt it in every direction. There were some impressive times considering that State Patrick Day was being celebrated all weekend. Arrests were up this year, but lists of the arrests are not yet available. I'll cross my fingers. The most impressive time was handed in by Gary Black in his comeback debut from bilateral hip replacement, 7:10, only 10 seconds off the facetious time I had said he would run when I figured he would actually die from the surgery! Ken Cooper and the gang were said to be planning a run at the Switchbacks behind Skimont Sunday morning, although I have no confirmation it actually happened. I still don't know whether I convinced any of them to golf, but I tried.

Addendum: Bob Radzwich, Chris McGinnis and Mark Wimmer managed to run the Switchbacks on Sunday earning them an honorable mention for "Great Performances". (Only missed by a whisker because they haven't golfed with us yet!)

The Big Ten Indoor Men's Track Championships were a huge success for Penn State. The team placed Third for the best finish ever, and the alumni presence was felt at unprecedented levels. Penn State Track and Field Alumni Golf was introduced to the current team and the large alumni crowd to a rousing applause. Well, some people clapped anyway. I barely made a fool of myself and kept my insanity hidden quite well. I am encouraged that PSU Track has some wonderful times ahead. I had worried that attempting to unite the current team to the past teams would prove to be difficult. But by what I witnessed, we are in for a pleasant cruise indeed.

Beth Alford-Sullivan and the Assistant Coaches couldn't have been more friendly, even in the midst of a difficult to coach meet like the Big Ten Championships. Their strategy was rewarded with a second day avalanche of points highlighted by an 800 meters I won't soon forget. Congrats and thanks to the whole PSU Track Organization. We WILL have the largest and most dynamic Track and Field Alumni group in the entire world!

Coach Groves is pictured above being acknowledged before handing out some awards. Coach is in fine shape and psyched for the Golf Outing. Get your entry in, and remember, I'm taking bribes to be placed in Coach's foursome! We have had several sign-ups already from our efforts this weekend including Bob Gabel, who helped me snag my job in the PSU lab. Verbal commitments were made by Leon Woolford (a previous award-winner), Dave Rihtarchik, Brian Laird (multiple Champion), Chris Herr (name engraved on the Cup!), Rob Boulware, and Brian Boyer. Other schools may be recruiting them also, so lets hope they honor their commitments! The quest for anyone from the "lost decade" continues. Remember, the first from the nineties is half-priced!