Thursday, November 3, 2011

20 Things I Learned in More Than 50 Years (Yea, I'm Slow!)

  1. In my opinion, morning runs are the most important element in a good runner's training regimen.  They are unfortunately the least fun also.  I maintain that any modicum of success I achieved in the sport is directly tied to the decision to start two-a-days in high school.  My favorite morning runs in college were the ones where I ran by Rec Hall and tapped on Coach Groves' window to be exempt from his Fitness and Games Gym Class, Twice!
  2. Women will invariably answer "It depends." to the question "What is your shoe size?"  Men will answer quite specifically "9 1/2 C" or something similar.
  3. Post-operative swelling always lasts much longer than the patient wants (which is measured in hours!).
  4. Dogs can eat the same thing every day and remain much happier than most people.  And yet my obsession with Kung Pao Chicken once weekly is viewed as "insane" by some.
  5. Women will take at least 3 bags to work; a purse, a bag of a prepared lunch and another bag for anything else, which usually includes a change of shoes.  Men will often forget to take even their wallet and will have no bags unless it contains work tools. 
  6. Both men and women under 40 will always have their cell phone in their hand.  Those over 60 have one at home but won't know how to use it.
  7. People who give waitresses and waiters a hard time should be avoided at all cost.  Anyone who ever tips less than 10% at a meal should be sent to San Quentin.
  8. Most people don't know that 400 meters is shorter than 440 yards.
  9. Fleas are much more aggressive and proliferate when camped on a cat.
  10. The size of the TV is proportional to how quickly it fails after the warranty expires.
  11. Computers were put on this earth by God to test human endurance.  At least Microsoft PCs anyway.  Maybe Apples are different. I had an Apple II many years ago but I don't think that counts. And Steve Jobs never consulted God anyway.
  12. The Steeplechase is another of God's tests.  I'm not sure I passed that one.  I look forward to St. Peter's review of my record on that one.
  13. Hammer throwers are a fun group to hang out with. Without their hammers, that is.
  14. Fast Food will be the death of all of us, but it sure is tasty sometimes.
  15. Physics is incomprehensible.  If it isn't, you just haven't studied it enough.
  16. In only two months time, Cross Country goes from being too hot to do to being too cold to continue.
  17. I can vacation anywhere and a perfect vacation for me would be a Cruise where the ship never is untied from the dock.
  18. The Chinese have 5 times as much Capitalism than do the Americans.
  19. Hill repeats are another test God gave coaches to torment and test athletes. I'm hoping it's not uphill to Heaven.
  20. Practically no one reads my blog, but many people tell me they do.

2 comments:

  1. Dude looks like a lady.

    ReplyDelete
  2. When I get there I'll decide to explain the benefits. Wait for Greensboro, then we'll know.

    ReplyDelete

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