Friday, May 8, 2009

The List is Nearly Complete: A Few Slots Remain

The largest ever conglomeration of Penn State Track and Field Alumni Golfers is nearly complete. Revenues are poring in at The Keeper of The Cup's headquarters. Mafia influence has complicated the collection, but Secretary of the Treasury Geithner has assured us our application for TARP funds will be given appropriate scrutiny as soon as he's done taking over the Automobile Industry, The Health Care Industry, and The Educational System.*

The list of attendees is a Who's Who of PSU Track:
  1. Tim Backenstose- First generation Yanomamo
  2. Bill Malchano- Still trying for "The Cup"
  3. Debbie Malchano- Southern Belle
  4. David Baskwill- Herder of Cats
  5. Barbara Black- Director of non-golfing activities
  6. Susan Baskwill- Adjunct Director of non-golfing activities
  7. Rob Whiteside- Blog Roaming Coorespondent
  8. Clark Haley- Professor emeritus, Keeper of the Beer
  9. Jeff Sanden- Grand, Exalted IT Czar
  10. Steve Balkey- Triple sports threat
  11. Don Ziter- Phi Psi 500 champion
  12. Lynne Ziter- A true Saint for putting up with the rest of us all these years!
  13. Steve Shisler- Host of Post-Tournament Celebration
  14. Beth Shisler- Hostess of Post-Tournament Celebration
  15. Nick K.- Home Town Hero
  16. Mike McCahill- Returning Champion
  17. Gary Black- CFO
  18. Paul Mundy- Owner of "The Beast"
  19. Campbell Lovett- First Generation Yanomamo
  20. Harry Smith- Keeper of The Cup, Event Coordinator
  21. Harry Groves- The Greatest Track Coach in the World
  22. Robert Snyder- All-American Yanomamo
  23. Bob Gabel- Responsible for getting me 3 A's in College!
  24. Paul McLaughlin- Another damn half-miler
  25. Bob Hudson- Another home town hero (and half-miler)
  26. Paula Froke- Group's journalist
  27. Ben Karcz- Probably the only one of us without arthitis!
  28. Dave Spears- "A" golfing Yanomamo
  29. Jim Clelland- Loudly obnoxious guy (just kidding Jim!)
  30. Bill Whittaker- Coach, Fifth Champion last year
  31. Brian Boyer- Official Physicist (displaced Stephen Hawking)
  32. Kevin Kelly O'Brien- Probable winner of the Ghost award this year
  33. Bill Sheskey- What is it with all the half-milers?
  34. John Sheskey- Group architect and 60's radical
  35. Mark Haywood- Bermuda Triangle Escapee
  36. John Barber- JB, Coach's right-hand man
  37. Douglas Kent- Legal Counsel and great roommate
  38. Hunter Backenstose- Second generation Yanomamo
  39. Eileen Marrow (Meenan)- women's Team Liaison
  40. Peter Bortolotti- Rapid Transit Veteran
  41. Judy Lynn Weaver- Volunteer Extraordinaire and Blog Proofreader
  42. Zeb Stewart- Last-minute Storyteller
  43. Greg Fredericks- Course Marshall
  44. Dave Rihtarchik- Another Volunteer!
  45. Todd Leggett- Last Minute "A" golfer !!
  46. Nate Lovett- Another 2nd Generation Yanomamo
  47. Chris Snyder- Still another 2nd generation Yanomamo!
  48. Brian Laird- Proper golf attire guru!
  49. Beth Slates- Baskwill family friend and Official Nurse of Non-Golfing Activities
  50. - 59. Assorted non-committal types who better donate to the cause!
*right-wing snark is not a view held by all of the group's officers. We are a Big Tent.

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