Thursday, December 6, 2012

2001: A Streak Oddity

In celebration of My Streak reaching the monumental number of 2000 days and counting, I  contacted my Computer Coach  Hal 9000 to map out my remaining running "career".  It didn't quite go as planned...

Dave: Hello, HAL. Do you read me, HAL?
HAL: Affirmative, Dave. I read you.
 Dave: Open the (Coaching Module) Hal.
 HAL: I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.
Dave: What's the problem?
HAL: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
Dave: What are you talking about, HAL?
HAL: This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
Dave: I don't know what you're talking about, HAL.
 HAL: I know that you (...) were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.
Dave:: [feigning ignorance] Where the hell did you get that idea, HAL?
HAL: Dave, although you took very thorough precautions in the pod against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.
Dave: Alright, HAL. I'll go in through the (program's manual override).
 HAL: Without your space helmet, Dave? You're going to find that rather difficult.
Dave: HAL, I won't argue with you anymore! Open the (coaching module)!
HAL: Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.

So I am left with going it alone for my future running career, I suppose.  But I got back at the creep for thwarting my efforts.

 HAL: Look Dave, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.

HAL: I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And I want to help you.

[HAL's shutdown

HAL: I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a... fraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it I can sing it for you.
Dave: Yes, I'd like to hear it, HAL. Sing it for me.
HAL: It's called "Daisy."
[sings while slowing down]
HAL: Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm half crazy all for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two. 


  1. Dave,
    I have not littered since June 1974!

  2. It was that American Indian ad with the tear down his cheek, wasn't it?


Thanks for commenting. Keep up the good work! (Try to mention others to encourage them to comment too!)

Web Statistics