A Lazy Man's Post: 31 Years' Knowledge As Almost A Doctor Summed Up In 10 Items*

1. The flip-flops that women wear are always the "good" kind.
2. Cutting a V in your toenail will give you an infection in the middle AND an ingrown toenail on the sides.
3. All bleeding eventually stops.  (I will pause to let that sink in.)
4. Minor Surgery is surgery on that other guy.
5. Orthotics don't cure everything, just a bunch of them.
6. Alternative medicine cures the provider's financial woes.
7. The art of good medicine is doing the least amount of anything that helps.  Sometimes nothing is the cure.
8. Never utter a woman's age, even if she does so first.  Also weight, for that matter.
9. The longer a patient desires off work is inversely proportional to the true extent of injury.
10. If in doubt, think of gout.

Thanks to KKOB for the image.

*Loosely inspired by the Laws of The House of God, the finest medical book ever written. Even better than M*A*S*H.